Hi guys!
Well, this week went over about as well as a dead horse in a rodeo. I'm kinda salty. For me personally, it was a really good week. I've worked so hard, and I've really been trying to improve where I've been
lacking. But in terms of missionary work, it was just a royal letdown. We're still only teaching two investigators, Maria and Ryan. And we're still teaching some recent converts. But once again, about 70% of our appointments fell through. I don't know what the deal is, but apparently everyone is playing "lets dodge the missionaries". I'm not a fan of that game. We also still haven't found any new investigators. We're trying. We're coming up with new ideas. We're working. But we're just not seeing any results. I suppose we can work harder, and we plan to, but I'm starting to freak out a bit. It just seems like nothing is working.
And Maria, who was on track to be baptized this upcoming Saturday, missed church again, so we'll probably have to push her baptism back again. Her reason for missing church was valid; another member of the household had to go to the ER in the middle of the night and they didn't get back until 4:30 AM, and then they had to go do more medical stuff, and Mona left Maria to babysit a sick kid who couldn't come with Mona. And they've just had a crazy last few days, and Maria hasn't felt great herself lately, so I understand the situation is just not ideal, but it's still frustrating. Especially since Mona's family can be kinda flaky anyway and kinda drag Maria into it, and although this time it was a valid reason, and though there have been other valid reasons in the past, there just always seems to be something. They're really good people. They just let life control them too much sometimes.
So we've just been having a really rough time. For the last few weeks, I've been doing pretty good at staying positive. But it's really starting to get to me now. I sometimes find myself relating to Jacob 5:41: "And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard wept, and said unto the servant: What could I have done more for my vineyard?"
On top of this, transfers are looming ever nearer. I think the thing I'm going to miss the least about being a missionary, even less than all the restrictions, is transfers. I get so nervous, even when I know
it's unlikely anything will change. So when I KNOW a change is coming, it's even worse. The anticipation kills me. And seeing as I've been in this area for over 7 months, and Elder Cornelison isn't going anywhere, I'm probably on the chopping block. Also, President Smith may have hinted that I'm getting moved. I can't say for sure, but it sounded like a hint that I'm outta here. And this might be my last area, and I'm even more nervous because of that. And I have no idea what's happening. Not even a guess. I'll probably find out on Saturday. So I've got to make it until then.
I've learned a lot this week, though. For one, I've been very much reminded of the power of sincere personal prayer. I think I've been kind of going through the motions lately. But this week, I've really
opened up and really talked to God in my prayers, instead of just rote words. And the result has been a lot of extra strength to get through these trials and stress producers. And I just feel generally much
closer to the Lord.
Another thing I've been reminded of is how big of a jerk Satan is. I've been more aware of him this past week, and he's working overtime to mess things up and make us discouraged. It's really obnoxious actually, and I'm sick of it. When my old trainer, (former) Elder Falconbury, visited a few weeks ago, one of the things he told me was that after my mission, I'd look back and see just how awful Satan was to me for two years. This past week, even though I'm not home yet, I've been seeing a lot of that, at least from the last few months, and I've seen especially how he's been messing with me these last few weeks. But the joke's on him because now I'm just that much more determined to conquer him. And remember how I said I'd been reminded about the power of prayer? Well, when you feel like Satan is just being a bit too relentless, prayer works. God will give you strength. Doctrine and Covenants 10:5 says "Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." The Lord wasn't lying when He said that.
Well, that's pretty much been my week. Not exactly positive, but it is what it is I guess, and at least I've learned a lot from it. It's part of the job I guess. It wasn't easy for Christ, so why should it be easy for us? We've just gotta "keep on truckin", as one of my old zone leaders used to say, and trust in God. This is His work, not mine, and Satan can only be a temporary nuisance. Things will get better. I'd like to end with a scripture from the Book of Mormon. This was written by the Prophet Mormon to his son Moroni during a very trying time, as their entire nation was about to be destroyed:
"And now, my beloved son, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God."
Have a great week!
-Elder Oswald
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